Random thoughts - a wonderful experiment

I write this at the wee hours of mid-night..sitting all alone here, I am wondering what a day it has been..I have done crazy hours at work today, gone through a crisis and come into terms with myself to resolve it..truly, life is strange..expectations of tomorrow are beautiful..but what happens next moment, we never know..

I want to catch up on many of my lost hobbies..I want to go on a long drive all my myself, play my favorite music, watch my all-time favorite movies ( you must know what they are ),eat my favorite food, catch up with some of my oldest friends, start painting again...I want to experiment new schools of thought and ideologies..

Surprisingly enough, I only do this when I am confused or want to get away from everything...every now and then, I want to live the life of a nomad who has no destination, no aim, no fixed direction..

Experimenting with such random thoughts can be a beauty and a disaster..through them, I have saved myself from several disasters, put myself in situations where I never have been, and also penned down the best thoughts I came across..

I have come to realize how much I enjoy my alone time..while I am a very active social person, I LOVE my alone time...

I sometimes wonder if I did not have specific responsibilities and expectations( we all do ) I would have just traveled the world, meet new people and cultures and be a gypsy in the true sense..would have let go of myself..be a global citizen, learn about NIRVANA and travel to the Himlayas for salvation..:)

I am confused...the reason - in the upcoming posts...

Where did we meet to part this way?

I am a thousand miles apart from you today!

What to do?

Feels like yesterday when I first saw you,

And shared those wonderful memories,

Today I long for them,

But they can't be mine...

I know I did the wrong thing,

But then again life is a strange thing;

If only things were simple and pure as wine,

If only you were mine..

But I miss you..I wish to get you back..don't know..I want to keep the fight for you going on..I love spending time with you..I love talking to you...I love staring at you and watch you smile..I care for you..I want to be there in everything you do..maybe, you will too..

If not, then at least as a friend..

This blog is one of the worst I have ever written!

A table for 8

The weather was gloomy..in a place conventionally known for its Friday night specials..some of my favorite songs..some nice company..some people lost even in the midst of such gala around..

It was a table of 8..some people doing good, some bad, some in the midst of confusion, some hesitating to accept certain facts and make their opinions public..while I was looking around for my special someone and see when will she turn around..

Love is a wonderful thing..its an intoxication..a feeling of a rush of so many emotions at the same time.Its strange. It does make you do and feel things which you might have never experienced before..but when its not the 'bed-of-roses' way, people loose vicinity of even the closest and most precious of things around..

Well, you all might be thinking why I am talking about this today?We all know this since middle school ( thats in today's generation ). NO. Many of us don't and even if we do, we decide not to move on. A table of 8 brought three typical scenarios in front of me and I would cite in relation to that..

Things can be simple, if we want them to be..things can be beautiful, if we choose them to be..what happened to those days when our parents talked about love and did not have a 'commitment phobia'? My dad often interchanges this phrase with our generation, which is very true..

While I am a dreamer, a believer and like to think what my inner soul is telling me, sometimes it is important to think rationally, especially in these dilemmas. It is important to open your eyes wide open and see that the past bad dream has ended and the sun is waiting to rise again in your life in the form of someone..it is important to realize what the other person does for you, sometimes even if it requires moving out of his/her comfort zone..it is important to not hurt anyone's feelings even if she moves far away..it is important to take into account the present and accept certain facts..

Being rational along with the craze for love is a difficult fulcrum to balance..but even if craze should be on the upper hand, rationality should be aside as a shadow...but some wishes remain the figment of an imagination even if they have the potential of being true..We are matured individuals capable of making responsible decisions...

Someone just mentioned last night: " It is important to be with a d******** then only we realize how good the other person is .." Well, I think we all should be in agreement with that statement..

If you love them, let them go...if they come back, they were yours..if not, they never were..

Open your doors to those people who might truly deserve you...life cannot be that harsh after all!

A fragment of an imagination, shattering or making, thats LIFE!

I am starting this blog post in a very unusual way...not my conventional attribute...but only one song is on my mind..one thought..the thought of confusion..No, I get what people think, what people expect..but its so difficult to get yourself across..how many times have you felt like screaming and holding that person's hand saying what you truly feel?

Even if you do, nothing will change...while sometimes there is too much nostalgia, sometimes you can never understand the true value of the 'asset' until it flies away..Past teaches us bitter sweet lessons, but the present is what we live in and the future is what we should be working- an expectation toward a glorious tomorrow...

But life does not function that way...things HAVE to become complicated even it can be simpler if we want to make it work that way...time remains a constant of integration here..in the end, nothing else matters..

Its surprising how I am stuck back 2 years earlier at this moment tonight..I feel exactly in the same spot..No, I am not being an emotional freak...but nothing has changed..something must have gone drastically wrong..

People that I have met, places that I have been, the memories that I have all culminated together forms a huge question mark on my forehead..the question of finding the meaning of a true existence..I thought I found it..but no, I didn't...A tale of sound and fury signifying nothing...

If only the ripples would not have appeared, if only the bird's nest would not have been shattered, if only in a fragment of an imagination everything would not burst into bubbles and tell me it was only a dream..reality is circumstantially different..

If only.....

A feeling,a sensation..a wish...

'Took me a long time and most of the world to learn what I know about love, fate and the choices we make, but the heart of it came to an instant...' -- Shantaram

I could not agree with these lines more than tonight when I write this blog...I feel something....I feel the cold air just rushing through my heart and soul, I feel the sound of the waves far away..I feel like a sailor without a sail who does not know whether he will outshine the confusion of the waves hitting strongly against the ship...I feel a lot of things...

A sensation of a thunder shock is running through my backbone..cause every time I see you, I become spellbound..because every time I talk to you, I get lost in your dream world..because every time you smile, you brighten my day..because every time you do a cute little thing, I can't take my eyes of you..because every time I see you, I only wish I am with you not today, not tomorrow, but forever and ever...

But the question is...do u feel the same way I do for you? Thats for you to figure out..I am right here waiting for something magic to happen...I wish I had a magic genie...:)))

Because I know baby, no matter what our past was, no matter what we did, the best thing that life offers us is CHOICES...I made you my choice,my destiny...I made you what I crave for...

Come with me to a place where no one else is around..come with me to a place where its only you and me..come with me to somewhere where we share those special moments...let time stop by as if there was no tomorrow..

Can you hear me?This story begins, like anything else, with a woman, a city and maybe a little bit of luck from the ALMIGHTY to get the former..AMEN...

The Seasons in the sun

The leaves are falling all over again, the cold wind gashing into the ear and that slight tickling of the atmosphere hitting us with its seasonal changes...Winter is here with its harsh realities..but it is also a time for the families to look back and Thank God for what HE has given..

Having grown up in a cold part of the country, winter has always been one of my favorite seasons. It has much sweet nostalgia and the reminiscence of it brings along excitement and joy. Not to say all winters in the past 23 years have been worth remembering, but still some of them remain significantly closer.My mom tells me the best winter for her was in 1986, when both me and my twin were born. That winter, there was an aura of happiness considering we are the youngest in the family then. Surprisingly enough, 4 winters later, life was different for them...

I am yet to find out the possibilities coming up this Winter..I see the horizon expanding with its infinite possibilities, I see the sunrise with its mystic beauty dawning yet again...

The quest for some questions will always remain unanswered..but when you 'have climbed the highest mountains,and run and break through the city walls, only to .......

I am glad I found what I am looking for...

A reflection upon me and my perceptions

People evolve constantly with time, surroundings, atmosphere.....Its been two years since I wrote a blog...I have faint, rather bitter sweet memories from my yester years about my blogs then and now...Times have changed, people around changed, romantic involvements changed, relationships changed, people then around who are not here anymore;reality around being a congenial truth..PERCEPTIONS.. the human mind is a beautiful thing and never fails to surprise me....

Change is an integral part of someone's personal development, at least what I think or have learned over the years...Like, for instance, I never thought I would be back here again but I am..My perception of the world has changed and evolved a lot over a period of time..but there must be some other factor which counted in...I am still figuring that out...

Penmanship has also been a subject of great interest...as I have always said, nothing like the beautiful mind blowing over the mind and soul and the pen in constant harmony with it...

To mention, there are much more expectations, responsibilities, quest for questions unanswered..well, who doesn't..all do...

I know I am flying, at least as of now...I have met some wonderful people who care, love and are there for you whenever you need them...I also have something strong for someone...there is a cute hidden beauty.. The seeds have been sown and I am yet to find out if it blossoms into a flower..I wish it does...

Ironic as it is, I left blogging for a similar reason and I am back here experiencing what I haven't in sometime..not to give vent, but to keep count of those sweet incidents every once in a while...

Here's hoping these breath taking moments never end.....